Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Treatment, Love and Limits

I have treated so many adults on the spectrum. A few successfully.

And what I learned in school has proven barely relevant to the process.

Clients who come in trapped in the prison of their mind are in a fight for their lives. No clinician, no person, can ever win a battle to break into the fortress.

It's what the fortress is guarding against that needs addressing. Most clients I've met are dying of loneliness.

Most are guarding, full time, against a pervasive and nameless panic, or, in Sylvia Plath's words, the "o-gape of complete despair".

To imagine I might outsmart a client's mind, as it builds and rebuilds its walls of protection, is to have no understanding of my own limits.

I hope that, as we develop more and more complicated ways to name and talk about symptoms, we will eventually come to the simple understanding that to learn to give and receive love, after one has learned to live without it, is the bravest, most heroic journey.

It is the only journey. The rest is walking in circles.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Finally. Where have you been? Please keep writing. Some of us are using your blog as a lifeline.

Anonymous said...

You say this is about love but what if you cannot get love. You ned hope to go on and know there is a purpose. I want love but I am alone and cannot even relate to another person without crushing panic. So what can I do. I want tools to learn to cope with being lonely but I do wish I could solve the loneliness. This is good and thank you for writing again.

Anonymous said...

Thank you and glad you are back. Please post again soon.

Anonymous said...

THIS is a frightening way to describe therapy but it is exactly my experience with well meaning people trying to help but they are as clueless as I am and we both know they cannot really help me. I am usually the first to admit it. At least they keep trying though. I don't want people to matter to me because they suck and then they leave.

Anonymous said...

This post sounds like it was born of frustration. I don't know if I'm reading that correctly. Hopefully you still find the effort rewarding. I tried therapy years ago but met with little success. I had not been diagnosed at the time. I would still consider trying again sometime in the future.

I find it interesting that I checked out your site for the second time only days after you post again following a long interval. Good timing.